Swinging, according to one couple, is the key to their blissful union; the only requirement is that they swing together.
Jess, an owner of a sex club, and Jay, an event planner, told Kyle and Jackie O that they started dating after meeting on Tinder two years ago.
As things developed between the new couple, they decided to “close” their relationship by not seeing other prospective partners without each other. And to make up for the lack of sexual diversity, Jess, who is bisexual and had been in non-monogamous relationships for 10 years, suggested they try swinging.
“I am quite open to things, so when she brought it up I thought it was worth a shot,” Jay told hosts Kyle Sandilands and Jackie “O” Henderson.
The first time the couple “tried it” was also his first-ever “group sex experience” – “a foursome with my best friend and her partner”, Jess recalled.
Jay said that the relationship dynamic works for him because the couple is always checking in on each other, speaking about boundaries, and connecting even when they’re being intimate with others.
“You definitely have points where you feel awkward,” he said.“I remember once I was pulled into a position I felt really uncomfortable in – a position Jess and I do, and I just couldn’t get my head back.”
Jess told FEMAIL, “Swinging has most definitely improved my relationships both with my friends and partner. It has allowed me to be honest with myself in what I require from a partner as well as what I need to be like as a person to be happy.”
As Jess is bisexual and has a larger preference for women, they have decided to put certain boundaries around their openness. Particularly that they are only swinging when they’re together and that they usually will only invite other females to be with them.
These rules ensure that Jay doesn’t get jealous and they can both maintain satisfaction from their extracurricular unions.
Jess also spoke to the Daily Mail about their habits as a couple, saying she wouldn’t mind taking a break from swinging, but wouldn’t want it to be off the cards in their relationship.
And while it doesn’t happen often, things can become uncomfortable. Fortunately, the couple has a strategy to de-escalate situations they don’t want quickly.
“You definitely have points where you feel awkward. I remember once I was pulled into a position I felt really uncomfortable in,” Jay said. “A position Jess and I do, and I just couldn’t get my head back.”
At this point, Jess’s intuition about her partner’s feelings allowed her to do the right thing.
Ethical non-monogamy is the umbrella term for a consenting couple to open up their relationship.
A report from Lovehoney this year found that ethical non-monogamy is a growing trend, with a US poll finding nearly a third of respondents saw ethical non-monogamy as the ideal relationship.
Sources: AWM, Daily Mail